Adventures in Scrambled Porn
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: While channel surfing Ax and Marco stumble across the scrambled channels. Marco has some explaining to do and tries to help out Ax with a problem. Slash [MarcoAx]


TITLE: "Adventures in Scrambled Porn"

AUTHOR: Doctor Strangelove (strangelove317@hotmail.com)  
RATING: R  
SPOILERS: Um, I don't know. No particular spoilers. Visser Three is still Visser Three.  
FEEDBACK: I'd love it.  
DISCLAIMER: K. A. Applegate owns the Animorphs.  
A/N: I love Marco/Ax. I think they're a great couple and the fanfics I find with them are excellent. But I cam across a problem. There were no sex fics with them. Now, I'm not a huge fan of PWP, and I do believe you can have a good slash fic with no sex. But the point still remains, I'd like to read about these two getting it on. Then there was "Check Mate" by Chibi Bulma (excellent fic, I highly recommend it) and "Boys Will Be Boys" by me. Both had the sex, but they weren't exactly happy fics. "Adventures In Scrambled Porn" is my attempt to make a happy Marco/Ax sex-fic that's _not_ a PWP. I'm not sure if I succeeded, but I tried. That being said, this is slash and it does have sex between two males. One of which isn't human (he's human at the time, though). It's not _that _graphic. You've been warned.

"Adventures In Scrambled Porn"  
Written by: Doctor Strangelove 

Marco brushed his hair out of his eyes as Ax fumbled with the remote control. Marco had been growing his hair out of again for about a month and so far it just seemed to get in the way of seeing things.

"Hey, Ax, you think you could use your tailblade and chop all this hair off again? I don't know why I even grew it out."

"I don't think I could do that, Marco. Not without severely injuring you."

Marco smiled, "I was joking, Ax-man."

Ax nodded, "I know. So was I."

"Yeah, I don't think you've got the whole tone of voice thing down yet."

Ax shrugged and was about to respond when a very loud female voice on the TV shouted, "OH, GOD, YES!"

Both Marco and Ax turned to see that Ax had stumbled across one of the scrambled porn channels. And not scrambled that well, there was only a little static and the picture was in black and white. It clearly showed a woman and man doing what it is people do on scrambled channels.

But apparently Ax did not know what that particular event was. "Marco, what are they doing?"

Marco blushed and tried (and failed) to take his eyes away from the television set, "Um, mating?"

Ax squinted and cocked his head, "That's how humans mate?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"I wasn't aware humans used their mouths in mating. Mouths are very versatile."

"Well, mouths aren't always used. Here," Marco grabbed the remote and flipped to another scrambled channel. "You see... no that's no good either."

"Why does that woman have a whip?"

"Don't know. Moving on. See, this channel. Those two people are mating the regular way." Marco leaned forward to get a better view of the screen. "I think. Kinda hard to tell." The picture suddenly cleared up and it was revealed that the two people on screen were most certainly NOT mating in the normal fashion.

"I was not aware two males could mate."

Marco rapidly pushed the buttons on the remote but the picture refused to change. "Damn dead batteries. Um, yeah, well some guys are into mating with other guys."

"Are you?" Ax asked innocently.

Marco blinked and looked around self-consciously, "Well, that's not really important."

"Why not?"

"Well, you see, some people are very private about who they... mate with. And some people think that only men and women should mate, and others believe that you should mate with whoever you want to."

"Which one is right?"

"Well, I don't really know if one is right."

"Well, which did you believe?"

"I... don't think it's that wrong if you're mating with someone of the same gender."

"Would you mate with another male?" Marco didn't answer. "Marco?"

"Yeah, Ax?"

"I've noticed a strange reaction in my body from watching these humans mate."

Marco stared at Ax with a horrified look on his face. "...Oh, dear God."

"What's wrong, Marco?"

"Nothing. It's just explaining the birds and the bees to an Andalite was not how I wanted to spend my evening."

"But I already know about birds and bees."

"It's an expression. About... mating."

"So what should I do about this reaction?"

"Well, there's always jacking off."

"What?"

"Um, never mind. Or, mating. That can solve your 'problem'."

"Mating?"

"Yeah," Marco gestured towards the TV. "Like... those guys. But then again there's not anyone around for you to..." Marco let the sentence hang as he felt Ax's hand on his thigh. He looked up and saw Ax smiling at him. "Oh God."

"So, that is the appropriate solution to... what did you call it again?"

"A boner."

"Yes. A boner. My Earth vocabulary increases everyday."

Marco looked up and smiled at Ax, "You learned other stuff tonight too."

"Yes. I now understand why humans mate when their is no chance of offspring."

"Hey, um, Ax, not that I didn't like... what happened, but could you not mention it to the other Animorphs?"

"Why?"

"It's complicated. I'll explain it some other time."

Ax nodded, "Okay. Does this mean that if I ever this 'problem' you'll help me out?"

Marco smiled again, "I wouldn't object to helping you out some more. But I'm pretty tired right now. You mind if I sleep over here tonight?"

"No. Go ahead. I should demorph, though."

"Yeah, okay."

As Ax started to demorph, Marco pulled on his boxers and jeans and curled up on the couch. By the time Ax was fully Andalite, Marco was already asleep. Ax walked over to the couch and stood next to it watch TV.

Hey, Ax, Ax looked up and saw Tobias fly overhead.

Hello, Tobias.

Are you watching those scrambled porn channels again?

Ax looked over, he had forgotten that he had never changed the channel. Oh, yes. I started watching and then the batteries in the remote control died.

Tobias just laughed, Well, I hope you weren't watching it when Marco was awake. God, I hate to think of what would've happened if he has seen you watching that.

Yes. That would have been awkward. If Ax had been human, the smile on his face would've been huge. 


End file.
